What is Worship?

The term “worship” is used, abused, and misused in the 21^st century church. Many churches have a “worship center,” a “worship leader,” a “worship team,” a “worship time,” and some even have a "worship pastor." Of course, all of this implies that there is a specific time, place, and schedule for “worship.”

All too often, the term “worship” is made synonymous with “music,” which would imply that the scheduled music time in a church service is the time of worship, thereby lessening the importance of the other parts of the service, such as preaching and teaching of the Word. In reality, everything we do as believers, both in and out of the church building, can be worship. We can worship God through our faithful attendance at church, through prayer, through the study of His Word, through making announcements, through giving, through music, through doing our jobs in a Christ-like manner, through how we treat others, etc.

Music can certainly be an important part of worship, but it is not all of worship. This being the case, we really ought to rename the “worship team” and call it the “music team,” and we ought to rename the “worship leader” and call him the “music leader.” This would get rid of the idea that music is the only part of our church services that is actually worship and all the other parts take a back seat.

We should also be aware of the fact that music is the source of more false doctrine than just about anything a church does. Many songs that sound good and feel good may not square with God’s revealed truth in His Word. It would do us well to be careful what music we use, whether traditional or contemporary, to insure that it is doctrinally sound.

Much of the practice of “worship” seems to be defined by a warm fuzzy emotional experience rather than by a biblical definition of what worship really is. However, it is clear from the Scriptures that truth always wins out over experience and that emotional reactions have nothing to do with truth. The best way to avoid false or weak worship is to look to the Scriptures for our definitions and our instructions.

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:1-2, NASB).

This Scripture from Romans says nothing about an experience or emotion as part of our worship, and it likewise says nothing about singing praises. However, it does say something very profound about presenting ourselves to God, being transformed into what He wants us to be, and living a life of obedience to Him, doing His will, thereby fulfilling our “spiritual service of worship.” Based on this and other passages, it is far more accurate to describe worship as “obedience to God’s will” rather than to equate it solely with music.

Sandy Simpson says it very well, as follows: “In many churches around the world the concept of ‘worship’ has been redefined and narrowed to mean the time when Christians come together to sing songs, raise their hands, dance around, and get all excited about the Lord together in church. For most of the younger postmodernist relativistic generation the concept of ‘worship’ has become a thing you do once or twice a week to absolve yourself of guilt. The more you can work yourself into a state of bliss in feeling like you are really achieving a state of ‘worship’ by letting yourself go in the music and rhythm of the ‘worship’ time, the more you can justify what you are doing the rest of the week when you are not ‘worshipping’ God. This ‘worship’ then becomes an excuse and justification process whereby Christians can rid themselves of the guilt of not obeying the Lord in their lives. This is not to say that true worship is not done in the time now called ‘worship.’ It can be a time of worship, but worship without obedience is not worship at all."

(http://www.deceptioninthechurch.com/biblicalworship.html)

The Nelson New Illustrated Bible Dictionary defines worship as “reverent devotion and allegiance pledged to God.” Obviously, one of the most important ways to express our praise and love for God is to obey Him. All outward expressions of worship become meaningless without true submission and obedience to the one we call “Lord.” Jesus expressed this very clearly – “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments” (John 14:15, NASB).

Samuel expressed this in no uncertain terms to King Saul after Saul offered a lame excuse for his disobedience. His excuse for disobeying the Lord was so that he could allegedly worship the Lord by offering sacrifices of the cattle and sheep he took from the Amalekites, even though God had ordered these cattle and sheep to be destroyed.

“Samuel said, ‘Has the LORD as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion is as the sin of divination, and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He has also rejected you from being king’" (I Samuel 15:22-23, NASB).

Saul's disobedience showed that he did not trust God enough to obey Him fully. Saul thought he could do things his own way and impress God with religious acts of worship. Such things do not impress God. Rather, He wants to see our demonstrations of love and trust for Him through obedience. Only then will our outward acts of praise and worship be acceptable to Him.

Can a Real Believer Stop Believing? (Repost)

We have all known professing Christians who, for a variety of reasons, turn their backs on the Lord and claim to no longer be Christians. Several years ago I had a student challenge the doctrine of “perseverance of the saints,” commonly called “eternal security.” She said, “But I know someone who was a Christian, and now he isn’t.” My response was the typical, not always accepted, but nevertheless correct, “How do you know for sure he was a real believer? And how do you know for sure that he has really fallen away?” This conversation that many of us have had, probably more than once, sets the stage for the question, “Can a real believer ever fall away?”

The answer to that question hinges on the word “real.” The Scriptures are very clear that when there is saving faith in Jesus Christ, there is “eternal life.” A real believer possesses this eternal life, which by definition is in fact, eternal, and can never end. A real believer “will never perish” – no “if’s, and’s, or but’s.” A real believer is in a position where Jesus said “no one will snatch them out of My hand” (John 10:28, NASB). If a truly born again believer could ever be lost, we have the absurdity of becoming “unborn” along with the fact that God becomes a liar, because His promise is otherwise. My salvation is as secure as the integrity of God.

While it is true that a real Christian can fall into sin and lose his fellowship with the Lord, there is nothing in Scripture to negate God’s promises to His own. When a believer sins, there is conviction. Romans 7:12-25 graphically illustrates this fact. Someone who has saving faith will not get away with sin and will not ultimately fall away from salvation, because that God-given conviction will always draw him back. The only good conclusion is that, based on the Scriptures, those who ultimately fall away were never believers in the first place, no matter how well they played the Christian game, even if they “served the Lord,” as did Judas Iscariot. Notice the words of John. “They went out from us, but they were not really of us; for if they had been of us, they would have remained with us; but they went out, so that it would be shown that they all are not of us” (1 John 2:19, NASB).

One reason for the falling away of “believers” is that they never were exposed to the real Gospel and came by way of “easy believism.” So often, well-meaning Christians, in their zeal and haste to see others saved, will reduce the Gospel to a simple “repeat after me” formula that results in false profession and a deceptive sense of “security.” This can be especially true in dealing with children.

Dr. John MacArthur says that we “…have to cease doing something that has been traditionally done through the years, and that is telling people that if they prayed this prayer, they’re saved. I grew up in a generation, you know, when you’ve led this person to Christ, then say to that person, ‘Did you mean what you said? Now you’re saved…’ You can’t do that. You don’t know that when they prayed that prayer that really was salvation. You can’t see justification take place. It’s an invisible transaction. You can’t even see regeneration…we have this idea of salvation that says, ‘If you pray this little prayer, God will save you’ …That is the most skewed view of salvation. God only does what He wills to do and what He purposes to do. And all the sinner can do is the model of Luke 18, ‘God be merciful to me a sinner.’ You can only ask, you can’t demand…Now He’s not going to turn away the one who comes in all honesty, but I think...we’ve taken it out of the hands of God and put it into a formula…and in the absence of genuine repentance, that formula is a recipe for apostasy.”

Another cause of false profession is the emotional approach, where the heartstrings are touched by a touchy-feely, warm fuzzy message rather than the actual Gospel. Often, people are brought into a situation where they “feel comfortable” and respond to the emotionalism they observe. In reality, if unbelievers “feel comfortable” in a church, there is something wrong with the church. The truth convicts, and being convicted does not always feel good, but it can lead to repentance and salvation. “For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10, NASB).

However, Christians whose faith is emotion-based rather than truth-based are far more likely to live other than their profession and to let others down. This enables those they seek to win to use the lamest of all lame excuses for rejecting Christ, which is “I don’t want anything to do with being a Christian, because Christians are such hypocrites.” That “excuse” has been around for a very long time, and it is no more valid today than it was in the past. As a matter of fact, the book of Romans teaches that even those who never heard of Christ are “without excuse” (Romans 1:20), so where does that leave those who have heard? Blaming others for one’s behavior is very common today, and it may be popular with some psychologists, but it will not get anyone anywhere at the Great White Throne Judgment.

One who suddenly decides he can no longer believe the Bible and therefore “falls away” has clearly decided he is in a position to judge the validity of God’s Word. It is interesting to note that generally those who come to such a conclusion have not been taught and have never taken the time to learn basic biblical truth. It is normally a matter of the “experience” of salvation not “feeling” so good any more. Again, Dr. MacArthur says that in order to take this stance, “…you have to put yourself in a position to be the judge of Scripture’s validity. That is a very proud position to take, given the fact that for thousands of years the most godly and brilliant minds in Christianity have found the Bible to be consistent, inerrant, divine, you know, it verifies itself again and again and again every which way possible, but you are a higher judge, you are a more clear minded authority than all the Christian scholars of all the ages. So I think the danger sign in somebody that’s headed toward apostasy is they want to render judgment on the Scripture that is independent of history and that is independent of Christian theology…I think it comes because the heart is so proud and so rebellious that it will deny what is patently obvious.”

Some will deny the truth regardless of the evidence. Dr. MacArthur goes on, “…all the Pharisees knew that Jesus rose from the dead. They knew that. They knew He rose from the dead because they bribed the Roman soldiers to lie and say somebody stole His body. So talk about... ‘don’t confuse me with the facts.’ That’s the resolute hard-heartedness of an apostate who with all the right evidence makes the absolute wrong conclusion.”

The best thing that can happen in our churches is the faithful preaching and teaching of the Word of God. Generally, those who fall away tend to come from the “feel good” types of churches rather than from churches where the Scriptures are faithfully taught. When real believers know the Scriptures, and where there is growth, there is no danger of ultimately falling away, because growth in the Lord indicates saving faith. MacArthur continues, “Go to the Word of God and anchor yourself in the Word and those doubts will disappear…don’t let temptation turn into sin by making you doubt the things that are clearly promised and revealed in Scripture.”

I am very thankful for my church and my pastor, who knows the Truth, teaches the Truth, preaches the Truth, and lives the Truth. “…and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free" (John 8:32, NASB).

The document from which I have been quoting is entitled “When Believers Stop Believing: Portrait of an Apostate.” It is the transcript of a radio interview of well-known pastor and Bible teacher, Dr. John MacArthur. The entire interview can be found here. I would also recommend Dr. MacArthur’s series of sermons on “The Doctrines of Grace.” There are no “feel good” platitudes here – only solid teaching of the Truth.

The Bible Complements Itself

It is interesting that in debates over biblical truth, we so often hear someone try to refute someone else by saying, “Yes, I know what your verse says, but I have a verse that says just the opposite.” This seems to be especially common when the debate is over “Calvinism” and “Arminianism.”

When we analyze such debate tactics, we must either conclude that the Bible does, in fact, have contradictions, or that the Bible is truly consistent and must be allowed to interpret itself. If the first is true, then we have nothing and all debate becomes meaningless. However, if the second is true, which it clearly is, then the Bible is a complete presentation of all that God intends for us to know about Him. In some cases, we must work at the process of understanding rather than expect our English translations to just spoon-feed to us every nugget of truth that is there.

The truth is that there is no such thing as a passage of Scripture that “says just the opposite” of another passage. God, who is always consistent with Himself, would not, did not, and could not tell us opposite things in His Word. Such would be contrary to His very nature. If we think there is a contradiction, then the problem lies with us, not with the character of God. We are limited and finite. He is infinite and all-wise.

We must not attempt to negate Scripture with logic or even with other Scripture. Such is a fool’s errand. Instead, when we come across something that confuses us, we need to dig a bit and determine how the Scripture in question fits with the rest of the Bible. For example, in the KJV, 1 Timothy 2:3-4 says, “For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour; Who will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.” At first glance, this seems to teach that all men will be saved – universal salvation. Of course, we know such a teaching is preposterous, since the whole of Scripture makes it clear that many will perish. So what do we do? Do we try to find other Scriptures to disprove this one? Or do we make a legitimate study of the Scriptures and find an answer that does not question the integrity of God and the unity of His Word? The answer is obvious. If I believed in “Universalism,” the teaching that all will ultimately be saved, I would most certainly run to 1 Timothy 2:4 in the KJV to find a Scripture to support my preconceived notion.

It is necessary to note that, while the KJV is a well-respected translation that has been used for hundreds of years, and which I still use a great deal, there are a number of weak translations found within it. I know that such a statement will label me as a “heretic” in some circles, but the fact remains that the Bible was not originally penned in English but in more precise languages: Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. English has changed a great deal in 400 years, and the common understanding of words back then is not always the common understanding today.

The wording of 1 Timothy 2:4 is certainly one of those confusing translations in the KJV. It says that God “…will have all men to be saved, and to come unto the knowledge of the truth.” That seems to be very straightforward and easy to understand, yet neither the underlying language nor the rest of Scripture bears out universal salvation. If we look at the same verse in the NASB, we find these words: “…who desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” Even in the English, we now have a clarification that indicates a “desire” on God’s part, not a statement that he “will” save everyone. Going a step further, a study of the literal meanings of the underlying words reveals that there is a huge difference between God’s desires, based on His heart of love, and his sovereign will, based on His eternal purpose. If God had decreed the salvation of all men, then all men would be saved. It really is as simple as that. Instead, there will be those from “every nation and tribe and tongue and people” who will be saved. It would be absurd in the extreme if He had decreed the salvation of all men and then had been unable to make it happen. Such would not be an act of the all-powerful God, the Sovereign Lord of the Universe. Interpreting Scripture in light of all Scripture can clarify such things for us.

As we study the Scriptures, it is important to rely on the Holy Spirit to instruct us and to do the work of studying diligently, comparing Scripture to Scripture. Isolated verses can often only give us questions, but the whole of Scripture will give us answers. The Bible never contradicts itself; it complements itself.

Drifting Away From Historic Doctrine

In the past few weeks I have read several books on varying themes. One is Charles Colson's recent book, The Faith. As all his writings are, this one is to the point and strategic for our day. His basic assertion is that our culture and our evangelical culture is included, does not value truth or creed. This drift away from historic doctrine has serious ramifications and implications. I happen to agree with Colson strongly.

In recent years I have been exposed to the Emergent Church Movement and its emphasis on relating to a post modern generation. I find some of the emphases in this movement appealing. I also have great empathy for post moderns who find the typical evangelical church experience, from which many of them come, unfulfilling and unappealing. Post moderns are troubled by the use of resources in many evangelical churches today. They are troubled by the hypocrisy they see concerning faith and practice. I am sure I help to contribute to it at times.

I also have some concerns about this movement and Colson's book articulates my concerns well. In seeking to "connect" with post moderns and to relate to them, I have a concern that experience, conversation, and story telling have taken the place of truth and proclamation. Several of Colson's statements really resonate with me. Here are a few:

"But understanding the way an audience thinks does not mean converting to the way that audience thinks, especially at the expense of truth." Right on the money I think. Story telling may truly be a great way to relate to the post modern. Doctrine does not need to be dry and dusty. When creeds do not develop into deeds, then indeed there is a problem. However, the fault is not with the creeds. It is the creed that gives nobility to the deed. The creed properly understood is what motivates one to become involved in deeds. Effort may be misplaced if it is not based on true creeds.

"This conception of church life and the failure to teach doctrine do nothing less than institutionalize agnosticism – the inability to know the truth – within churches themselves." This statement felt like the stab of a knife to me. It seems so strong. And yet, when I think of my own exposure to the Emergent Movement, I have to admit that I have observed this "institutional agnosticism." There truly seems to be a slippery slope. It is in fact difficult to define with precision exactly what the Emergent Movement believes which in itself contributes to this "slippery" notion. There is no clear theology or belief system. It varies from one group to another. A revised understanding of salvation results in a kind of universalism. Sometimes I hear the expression, "You're in unless you deliberately choose to be out." I cannot accept this idea. At other times I have heard emergent leaders express their own skepticism and doubt about various other historical orthodox beliefs. As much as I find it painful, that does sound like a form of agnosticism to me.

I hope to share other ideas from Colson's book in the next few weeks and desire that what I write will cause you to think and consider carefully. In my mind these are critical issues. When I think of the exhortation in Scripture not to be conformed to the world, I have much more fear that we conform to the world in its thoughts and values rather than in its practices and activities. How we think is more critical and so foundational.

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This article was written by a friend of mine.

It’s Not About Me

A very popular, modern method of “Bible study” is for the participants to sit around in a circle and discuss a verse or short passage, chosen by the group “facilitator.” (Notice the absence of the word “teacher.”) Each member of the group takes his or her turn telling “what I feel this verse means to me.” All opinions are acceptable, as long as the individuals offering the opinions are “sincere.”

Such a method of “study” takes the emphasis off the objective truth of Scripture and places it instead on the subjective feelings and perceptions of the individual. In reality, God does not care what the passage “means to me.” What is most important is what it actually says. After we understand what it says, then we may need to work at determining what it actually means. A little secret here – unless there is figurative language, such as an obvious metaphor (“This is my body.”), there is no reason to look beyond what it says to determine what it means. Of course, we may need to do a little digging to determine the literal meanings of the words, but discovering nuggets of truth in the Word is worth the effort.

There is far too much focus today on “how I feel” and “what I think” and far too little focus on truth. I recently saw an online video in which the topic of discussion was the book, The Shack. (See my review of The Shack here.) You can see part one of this video here, and part two here. The basic thrust of the video was that Christians need to quit worrying so much about doctrinal correctness and realize that if a number of people are encouraged by such a book, it is clearly valuable, and it is wrong to criticize it. This is obvious foolishness, because the objective truth of God’s Word always trumps what any of us think or feel about it.

^“For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires, and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths” (2 Timothy 4:3-4, NASB). “But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine” (Titus 2:1, NASB).

For a short video on this topic, go here. For John MacArthur's excellent article on this topic, go here.

The Proverbs 31 Woman

Shortly after my first wife Sue went to be with the Lord in 2001, I sat down and put a number of thoughts on paper. By the time I was finished, I had a book. It was very helpful to me to do this, and I am hopeful that if the book is ever published, it will be a source of encouragement to other believers who have lost their spouses. The title of my book is Let Her Works Praise Her: A Life That Counted. I wrote the book within six months of her death, and some of it was quite raw, reflecting as it does my emotional state at the time. It would be impossible to write those things in exactly the same manner today.

I am a man most blessed. Six years ago, two years after Sue’s death, the Lord gave me another wonderful wife – my Janet – who is my second Proverbs 31 woman. Janet is now, as Sue once was, the perfect wife for me. No one deserves or has a right to expect such a double blessing, but I can only accept His blessings by His grace from the hand of the One who loves me with an everlasting love.

Chapter 4: The Proverbs 31 Woman

“An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.”

(Proverbs 31:10, NASB)

If a man truly loves and adores his wife, he will believe she is the best of the best. He will praise God for her and be thankful for every moment he has with her. When I say I had the very best, that is in no way meant to be disrespectful to anyone else’s wife. However, I can truthfully say that Sue was the perfect wife; she was certainly the perfect wife for me. The Lord gave us to each other because He made us for each other. We complemented each other’s skills, abilities, and temperaments. We balanced each other. We were a team. We were one.

At my request, Pastor Jeff Clark of Valley Evangelical Free Church of Hemet read Proverbs 31:10-31 from Sue’s own Bible during the memorial service. He commented that just handling and seeing her Bible—how used it was, how worn it was, how marked it was—told him that she was a woman of Scripture. That she definitely was, and she was the very essence of the Proverbs 31 woman.

The Proverbs 31 woman is rare and hard to find.

“An excellent wife, who can find?” (Proverbs 31:10, NASB). That question may mean even more in modern day America than it did when it was first written. It certainly implies that not every woman is a Proverbs 31 woman. However, any woman who knows the Lord most certainly ought to strive to be such a woman, just as every man who knows the Lord ought to strive to be the kind of godly man the Scriptures describe in so many places.

Our culture has done great harm to the entire concept of the Proverbs 31 woman. Young ladies are routinely taught, even in Christian circles, that the virtues of godly womanhood are old fashioned and out-of-date and that a woman’s real worth is only related to her employment outside the home and the amount of money she earns. Advertising generally pictures the working woman as a business executive at or near the top of a large corporation. That is truly preposterous, and the reality is that many women work outside the home in very routine jobs out of necessity to supplement family income. That is frequently unavoidable and does not negate the potential in every Christian woman to be a Proverbs 31 Woman.

God places great value on the woman who lives up to the standards of Proverbs 31, and that has not changed because we are in the Twenty-first Century. My lovely, loving, wonderful Sue was every bit a Proverbs 31 woman, and I will be eternally grateful to my Heavenly Father and to her for that fact.

The Proverbs 31 woman is worth more than any earthly possessions.

“For her worth is far above jewels” (Proverbs 31:10, NASB). My wife was, to me, worth far more than money or any other earthly thing. She was the essence of wealth. To have known her, loved her, had her for my sweetheart and best friend, and to have been one with her for over thirty-two years was one of the greatest treasures I have received in this life.

When I received the life insurance money, I cried, knowing that no amount of money would ever replace my dear, sweet, loving, precious Sue. Yet I praise her for providing for me in such a way by insisting, just eight years before her death, that we buy a life insurance policy on her. I had provided well for her in the area of life insurance, especially while the children were at home. It was unthinkable to me that she should be left with little or nothing if something should happen to me. However, I never really even thought about the possibility that the Lord might call her home first. Her love and concern for me caused her to prod me into buying the insurance, so she continues to give to me even now. I praise her for that.

The Proverbs 31 woman is worthy of her husband’s trust in every way.

She does not demand more than he can provide. “The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain.” (Proverbs 31:11, NASB). I never had any reason to doubt Sue’s love, faithfulness, integrity, or loyalty to me and to our family. I trusted her implicitly in every area of our lives. Never did I concern myself with her wisdom in the use of money. It was never my money and her money. It was always our money, and we agreed about how it was to be used. I did not have to make the big bucks to make her happy. She was content with what we had, and the Lord blessed us greatly. She was diligent and frugal, and I did not have to stretch beyond our means to meet her needs and desires.

The Proverbs 31 woman works with her husband toward common goals and purposes.

“She does him good and not evil All the days of her life” (Proverbs 31:12, NASB) Sue did me so much good every day we were together that I can only scratch the surface in describing it. She loved me and our sons unconditionally. She met my needs and the needs of our sons. She always sensed when something was bothering me or one of the boys, and she did everything she could to soothe the hurts, calm the feelings, and meet the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. As much as she cared for others, her own family always came first because she knew it was a gift from our Heavenly Father. She never said anything bad about me or our boys to anyone. She was our greatest fan and champion in anything we did. She was always available to us when we needed her. She was always willing to put her own needs and desires on hold when there were family situations that needed her attention. She always did me good—never evil, “all the days of her life.”

The Proverbs 31 woman is diligent and hard-working.

“She…works with her hands in delight…She rises also while it is still night, And gives food to her household…She girds herself with strength, And makes her arms strong…Her lamp does not go out at night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle” (Proverbs 31:13-19, NASB). Sue did all the things a homemaker does. She took care of her children. She took care of her husband. She kept the house clean. She loved to putter around outside keeping up the shrubs and flowers. She saw to it that our needs for clothing and other such things were met. She was a great cook and always had food prepared for her family. She always did these things in such a loving manner.

For many years until she began working part-time, she was thought of by some as “just a housewife.” In the minds of many, a term such as “housewife,” or even the more "politically correct" term “homemaker,” is descriptive of someone who is too lazy to work, has chosen to live a wasted existence, or perhaps is enslaved by her husband. Such a view utterly ignores not only the value of the work of being a wife and mother but the amount of work it entails. To presume a woman does not work because she is a stay-at-home wife and mother is to be ignorant of reality.

By contrast, Sue saw being a wife and mother as nothing less than the high calling of God. She believed, as the Scriptures teach, that meeting the needs of her husband, faithfully raising her children, and keeping the family unit intact were far too important to entrust to outsiders. She worked at it, and she did so diligently because she loved her family so very much.

The Proverbs 31 woman sees beyond her immediate family to the needs of others.

“She extends her hand to the poor; And she stretches out her hands to the needy” (Proverbs 31:20, NASB). This is an area which developed in Sue’s life more and more as the years went by. Without ever neglecting her own family, she found ways to show kindness, mercy, and encouragement to many, many people in their times of need. One of the things she continually did was write notes of encouragement to others. No doubt she literally wrote thousands of such notes over the years, always with encouraging words and appropriate Scripture verses. People did not forget this kindness that she performed so consistently in the lives of so many. The Lord has not forgotten it either, and her rewards will be great in Heaven. “For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to the saints” (Hebrews 6:10, NASB). Much will be said about this part of her ministry in later chapters.

While I was aware that she did many good things for others, I really was staggered by how many people she had touched, as evidenced by the approximately 800 people who came to her memorial service on a Thursday at 11:00 A.M. There can be little doubt that, had it been on a Saturday, even more would have been there. She touched many, many lives in many, many ways.

The Proverbs 31 woman is frugal and diligent.

“She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land” (Proverbs 31:21-23, NASB). Sue found ways to stretch every dollar so that we never lacked anything we needed and never felt deprived of anything. She made and mended clothing. She found bargains by searching diligently. She cut my hair. She cut our boys’ hair. She cut her own hair. I’m sure this alone saved thousands of dollars over the years.

Sue so often set aside her own desires for the needs of our family. She had wanted a horse ever since she had one as a teenager, but she willingly gave up that dream for the sake of saving for our sons’ college educations, braces for all three boys, and a multitude of other pressing needs. It gave me such tremendous pleasure to see her joy when we were finally able, after college bills were paid, to buy her a horse by the name of Rebel. She was able to enjoy him for the last two and a half years of her life. That is one of those areas on which I do not have to look back with regret, wishing we had done differently. Her frugal and careful nature would never have allowed her to do something like that before we could afford it, and I praise the Lord that He provided the means for her to have her beloved Rebel before her life on earth ended.

Sue always dressed nicely and looked great. She frequently received compliments on how she looked. Very few people realized that almost all her clothing came from, as we both frequently said, the rag bag. She went to yard sales, thrift stores, and department store sales when there would be 50% or more off the already discounted sale price. It got to the point that it was much cheaper to shop like this than it was to sew, so she saved the sewing time for other things. Many times we would be at church or somewhere and someone would compliment her outfit, and she would quietly nudge me and, with a little laugh, say something like, “Did you know I only have $6.50 in this whole outfit?” She loved that. She certainly took no pride in flaunting some special brand of expensive clothing.

Sue even did her best to make me look good as I went to school day by day, and that was no small task. Left to my own devices, I tend to have what she called “the rumpled look.” Lt. Columbo certainly had nothing on me in that area. Sue used her knack for finding bargains to get quality clothing for me at very reasonable prices. Because of my colorblindness, she would lay out my outfit each day. I praise her for that because I have no clue what goes together. Frequently, people would say something like, “Your wife dressed you nicely today,” and I generally took the opportunity to say something nice about her. I was told that one of my students, a high school girl, upon hearing of Sue’s passing, started crying and said, “Who’s going to dress him now?” This is only one of many illustrations of the fact that much of what I am came from her. We were truly one, and I thank the Lord for that great blessing.

The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of faith and wisdom.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom” (Proverbs 31:25-26, NASB). Sue was a woman of great strength and dignity because she allowed God’s Word to permeate her life. Because of this, she had confidence about the future. We were looking forward to retiring and traveling together to see so many things we never had a chance to see. God, in His sovereignty, chose to interrupt those plans. I don’t know why He did that, but I do know that He knows best. I am looking forward to the day that I can not only know that fact but also experience it in my heart and in my emotions.

The tendency among humans in a situation of loss is to feel cheated or gypped. In reality, we must be thankful for what we have rather than complain about what we don’t have. Sue kept a little flip chart of Scripture verses and wise sayings in the kitchen, one page for each day of the year, and when I got back from Modesto, I noticed the saying and Scripture verse from July 13, the day she died. It said, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not but rejoices for those which he has.” (Epictetus). The related Scripture was, “But I have trusted in Your lovingkindness; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the LORD, Because He has dealt bountifully with me.” (Psalm 13:5-6, NASB).

Ironic? Yes. Coincidence? Definitely not. The Lord knew I needed to see that. I pray that I will go beyond believing it to feeling it. I know that God does not love me any less now than He did before He took my wonderful Sue home to be with Him. I need to trust in His unfailing love and realize that He has been good to me.

Proverbs 5:18 says to “rejoice in the wife of your youth.” That was certainly something to which I was looking forward, and we both looked with eager anticipation to that day when we could retire, travel, and enjoy each other. For whatever reason, known only to the Lord, that is not going to happen now. Nevertheless, Sue’s future is extremely bright now that she is in the presence of her Savior and is seeing all the beauty of Heaven, beauty which causes all earthly beauty to pale by comparison. She loved the beauty that is here, even though it is the beauty of a sin-cursed earth. I cannot even begin to imagine the beauty she is seeing now.

Sue’s simple trust in the Lord and in His Word made her a woman of great wisdom. She never did consider herself particularly smart or intelligent, although I disagreed with her on that. However, that is really of little importance. Too many today value intelligence, or even cleverness, as valuable assets. The best Biblical synonym for the word “clever” that I can find is “guile.” As believers, we are to be without guile.

God’s Word instructs us to be wise, but nowhere does it say to be clever or even smart. Although Sue and I have both been conservative and very careful not to make hasty decisions over the years, there have been many times that I have listened to my wife’s Godly wisdom, and I thank the Lord I did. The biggest regret I have in ministry is related to a time, when because of male stubbornness, I did not heed her wisdom, and we both paid a heavy price for my decision. I truly had a wife of great wisdom, and I thank the Lord that I had enough wisdom to include her in decisions.

The Proverbs 31 woman is kind.

“And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue” (Proverbs 31:26, NASB). Later chapters will describe the many acts of kindness that continually came from this woman named Sue Livesay. Suffice it to say here that her kindness was genuine and never waited for an invitation. She simply did for others what she perceived was needed. Any time she knew about anyone who was hurting in any way or had a special need, she was on the scene doing what she could to soothe the hurt and meet the need. Never did she look for glory or public acknowledgement that she had done anything. She was content to know that the Lord knew and that someone’s life had been made a little brighter by her words and deeds. Nothing really came out on this earth about all the many acts of kindness she did until her memorial service, and since she was already in Heaven, she lost none of her rewards because of it.

The Proverbs 31 woman takes care of her family.

“She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: ‘Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all’” (Proverbs 31:27-29, NASB). I have already touched on some of the many ways Sue took such good care of our home and family. Our sons all know what they owe their mom. Not only did they inherit their artistic and musical talents from her, but she nurtured those talents. She was, in large part, responsible for what they all have become today. They all love their mom dearly, and I praise her, giving no second thought to saying, “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all” (Proverbs 31:29, NASB). I could not have loved and adored her more. She was God’s precious gift to me.

The Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of inner beauty.

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised…and let her works praise her in the gates” (Proverbs 31:30-31, NASB).

Sue was a beautiful woman, inside and outside. That very thing was said to me by one of the nurses in ICU, and it is so very true. However, outward beauty does eventually fade, but the real beauty of a godly woman is the inward beauty that shines through no matter how long she may live and how old she may become. “Your adornment must not be merely external – braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God” (I Peter 3:3-4, NASB). My wife, beautiful on the outside, even more beautiful on the inside, has been, and continues to be, praised by the works that were so evident in her life. To have had the privilege of living my life with such a woman by my side was a blessing beyond compare.

Sue was truly a Proverbs 31 Woman. As a result, I believe her rewards in Heaven are great. As the song says, “Little things that you had done, sacrifices made, unnoticed on the earth, in Heaven, now proclaimed.” (Thank You, by Ray Boltz, Copyright 1988 Gaither Music/ASCAP, All rights reserved.)

Her treasures are surely stored up in Heaven. “But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:20-21, NASB).